Every single parent wants only what is best for children. However, this does not mean that the actions that are taken are actually in the best interests of a child. There are so many parents out there that push children to work really hard at achieving specific goals. They think this is really good and what does tend to start as clear motivation eventually becomes a huge added pressure. The child is expected to perform and live up to the expectations of the parents, together with specific set standards. If this happens, it is hard to find motivation in anything.
An example can easily be given in the child that goes to piano lessons from an early age. When the child no longer wants to learn how to play the piano, lessons have to start. Unfortunately, in most cases pressure from parents steps in and the child is practically forced to take classes. You can be sure that the child will not end up playing the piano when he/she becomes an adult. In fact, that child will hate the piano even if natural talent and affinity are present.
The MCUSA points out that there is a clear difference between motivation and pressure. As a parent you want to motivate, not to add pressure. Usually, parents end up stressing children because of some specific reasons, including the following really common ones:
Family Background – As an example, the children that come from a family background where many musicians grew, parents tend to expect them to become musicians. As the parents are musicians or play specific instruments, it is hard to see how much pressure is put on the child to perform. This pressure is not at all motivation. Similar examples can be given in regards to what career path to take, what schools to go to and a whole lot more.
Economic Stress – Whenever finances are tough, the child should not be the one to blame or to be put through stress. You surely heard about parents that put huge pressure on children to get a really good job so they can make a lot of money. This is only a source of stress that usually appears because the parent is ashamed of not being able to pay for the child’s education. As a result, the child is pushed to achieve greatness without financial or psychological support.
The Idea That Children Owe Parents – This is, perhaps, the worst thing possible when talking about this subject. So many parents have really high expectations because they provide the best resources for children in order to create that perfect environment. What these parents do not understand is that the idea of the “perfect growing up environment” differs from one person to the next. Children need to be allowed to have fun and do what they like. It is up to them to choose their path in life.
Always be sure that you openly talk with your children. He/she needs to feel as if any topic can be discussed.